Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Gym Etiquette

A few points to ponder on Gym Etiquette from yours truly!

I spent quite a bit of time in the gym this last weekend and I encountered ALL of these gym blunders within the three day period.  The following tips of advice are nothing new to the gym goer; but I think a few of you need a friendly reminder.

Gym etiquette tip #1: If you smell as if you had a great workout BEFORE you get to the gym, take a shower BEFORE you get to the gym.

Come on people.  If I can smell you from 10 feet away, there's no doubt you can smell yourself. 

Gym etiquette #2: Do not stare up my shorts for more than 5 seconds, let alone minutes. It's blatantly obvious you are a creepy critter. 

.....that and have really low standards. Really? I would understand if I were 18 years old with thin, nice legs and thighs.  But nooooooooo, what you are getting here is 38 years worth of thighs that are nowhere worth a stare but than other to say, she should be trying out that infomercial product that guarantees to rid your body of unsightly cellulite.   

Gym etiquette #3: Wear a sports bra that will hold those puppies down. I think you about knocked your trainer's eyes out. 

Seriously?  How can you not know your bra is not doing the trick? I think your "puppies" became one with the tip of your nose way too many times.  Shame on your trainer for making you do jumping jacks. 

Gym etiquette #4:  To the trainer who must yell and scream every time her client does a "good job". Shut the heck up! They are adults, not kindergartners.

Obviously, all of the gym members' stares and glares are not enough for you to understand that no one appreciates your bell ringing, woo hooing self.  We don't want to hear any one's grunting or other unnecessary bodily noises while working out.  This also applies to you. 

Gym etiquette #5: I'm ecstatic that you are self confident! I'm not ecstatic to get a full frontal view of your nude body in the locker room.

I'm not a prude, but seriously.  I don't care if you have 1% body fat and six pack abs; have some modesty.  This isn't about the pretty bodies versus the not so pretty.  I do not discriminate.  I don't want to see YOU; at least not all of you.

Gym etiquette #6: Keep your disappointment to yourself once you realize my husband is not available to join your team. No, I'm not talking about the recreational basketball team. 

You know who you are.  Myself and dear husband were painfully aware that you weren't not ecstatic about my sudden female presence when I joined my husband in the hot tub. Sorry honey, I'm not going anywhere. Find your own man.

What are your gym etiquette pet peeves? 

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  1. I can't stand the people who sit on the machines texting and NOT working out. Seriously. Move over. Text from that nice bench over there, not from the machine/weight stack/treadmill.